How (not) to deal with a narcissist with OCD and control issues... A.K.A Way Way's mid-life crisis

  Greg seems to think I am spreading lies on the internet. Apparently, I am busy spinning a "false narrative". Sadly, I wish this were true. I wish I had made this whole elaborate "story" up. But honestly, why would I? How could I make any of this up? If you know me, I am not that kind of person. Unlike Greg, I am not lying about calling the police to get someone "medical help" when I actually wanted them to be arrested. Unlike Greg, I am not lying about if I can get a mortgage in France to buy my partner out of their share of a joint property. Unlike Greg, I am not lying about supporting his partners application for citizenship. Unlike Greg, I am not lying about anything to anyone. I am not stupid. I am not arrogant enough to not check facts in more detail before confidently claiming to know about a subject. ...Unlike Greg... Lies have a way of catching up with you and catching you out. I do feel sorry for Greg, if he ever thinks about this whole situatio...

 

  So I'm at St Pancras station....just putting my bags through security and one of my bags are stopped by the scanners. Supervisor is called over. Points to the flammable sign and says sorry we can't allow this. Then more kerfuffle as I try and rescue a pen and caps...and as I'm trying to rescue bits and pieces another supervisor comes over, has a look and says, it's fine, let her through (although the original supervisor says its just because the other guys is too nice and if I were a guy it would be a different story. Anyway, he goes off to get me some tape to seal my package back up and casually asks if I'm heading to Paris. I say no. And blurt out a mini version of my recent life story....at which his response boils down to: yeah France is racist. And okay UK is racist, but it's not in your face racsim that you get in France. Obviously, I'm crying again... He ends with. Good luck and it will be okay in the end... Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Update...

I've been quite a few times to the local recycling centre, doing 6 trips to get rid of about 3 cubic meters of green waste from mum's front garden. I am quite recognisable driving around in Betty ...and everyone at the recycling centre were always impressed at the amount I managed to ram into Betty.  Anyway, I went back today to get rid of some rubbish and one of the recycling centre guys who I had chatted to a bit when I had been doing multiple trips to off-load green waste was there and helping point people in the right direction...he made a throw away comment that I had lost weight.  I said: "oh yes, I suppose chronic depression and not eating does that!"  He then looked at me and said, "I know the feeling". We had a good conversation about grief, depression, losing interest in things, finding positives and obviously I cried. As I left he told me that he was always there (at the recycling centre!) if I ever need to talk to someone. Which was very sweet. A...

Greg doesn't understand why I am accusing him of domestic abuse. But this is part and parcel of 2 key things:  1) Greg's complete disassociation from the consequences of his actions and behaviours; 2) not understanding what domestic abuse is; French domestic abuse law, talks about "l'emprise" and "controle coercitif" - that translates to "grip" and "coercive control". Controle Coercitif: "Il s’agit d’un acte délibéré de comportements de contrôle, de contrainte ou de menace dans le but de vous rendre dépendante, subordonnée et/ou de vous priver de votre liberté d’action. La nature de ces comportements peut être psychologique, verbale, économique, administrative, matérielle, parentale, physique ou encore sexuelle." [https://www.womenforwomenfrance.org/fr/nos-ressources/violences-conjugales/comprendre-les-violences/comprendre-les-violences-conjugales] Coercive control: "Is an intentional act of controlling, coercive ...

    So. Is it a crime to write in chalk pen on your windows? Is it a crime to write in pen on your bedroom walls? Are children who doodle on walls vandals?   If it is a crime, why didn't the police arrest me like Greg wanted them to? Do you think they read some of the messages and wondered why Greg had spent his energy and efforts in trying to bring them to the house to look at the destruction I had caused and wondered why he wasn't trying to get his wife help? Don't worry, after a very fleeting thought that Greg had carefully explained to my brother that he only called the police, not to get me arrested, but because he was concerned for my safety (I doubt that even the french police officers believed this). He has now turned his thoughts back to his normal point of interest. Himself. And his feelings and opinions. Which are, first and foremost the most important thing in the world. Irrespective of the law, other people's opinions or rights. I am apparently not entitled...