Chapter 12: Role reversal



Edited version of Facebook post from 21st August (around 1pm when I got out of Lannion Hospital)

I am not Okay. But I am not finished yet.


Greg came back this morning and was furious at my beautiful art installation. He immediately cleaned some of the glass [his OCD means he can't stand mess!]. And then raged at me for being controlling and threatening him and his family by being so rude as to tell his old school friends about what happened to me (from my perspective) he told be I was his abuser. He was the victim. He shouted that he was going to call the police and get me arrested. He wanted me out of HIS house (we co-own the house and he hasn't bought my half off me yet) HIS home. He didn't feel safe around me. I have destroyed his stuff (I didn't break anything I just drew on the wall with posca pens and on the glass with chalk markers). He also never wanted me to come back to *his* house.


He called the police and told them that I had broken his house. They came. Looked around, but couldn't do anything. They didn't arrest me for doing some redecorating. He wanted the fire brigade to come and take me away. Then when they didn't come. He called an ambulance to tell them I was suicidal and need to be hospitalised.

I went to the hospital (sirens and everything) had my blood pressure taken. See by a psychiatrist. Given xanax (lovely....nice and calm now) and was asked if I wanted to be hospitalised or go home. I said go home.


As ridiculous as I thought it was when Greg screamed at me that he was the real victim of the situation, and then proceeded to call the police to have me arrested and removed from *HIS* house. It is apparent that this normal behaviour where a perpetrator of domestic abuse continues their denial of abuse and reverses the role of victim and offender.


https://www.womenforwomenfrance.org/en/our-resources/domestic-abuse/understand-abuse/recognising-perpetrator-manipulation-of-the-french-legal-system

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 1: Preamble - Background

  I met Gregoire Moinet in Japan, in late 2006 through a climbing group, whilst he was on a international secondment with his French company, and I was studying for my PhD at the University of Tokyo. We married in London 21 st November 2009. After our wedding Greg took up a job in Shanghai, with the same company he had worked for since graduation and I moved with him, I did not work whilst in Shanghai, aside from a little tutoring work and working on writing up scientific journal papers from my PhD research, and applied for a academic position at Imperial College (where I had completed my Undergraduate and Masters studies). In 2011 I moved back to London to take up the academic position at Imperial College and Greg joined me a couple of months later – we stayed at my parents place whilst we found a place to rent. We chose to rent a house in Reading so that Greg could commute to Swindon for work and I could commute by train to London. Subsequently, we moved to Putney. In 2016 I...
Read more

Do you realise?!

Image
  Whenever Greg and I discuss our situation, he always starts with "Do you realise..." The stress that Greg is under, how Greg feels about everything and anything...all about Greg, never about Greg understanding my position or feelings about things. Which is in effect the root of my, and subsequently, our problems. So I have questions for Greg (Mr I'm the victim here because nobody understands my obviously correct position but I have zero empathy for others even if they are in the same position as me doing the same thing): Does he really understand why I left to go stay in the UK back in November. Does he realise that he is hurting/insulting me by starting a new relationship before we have even finalised the divorce, when we didn't even discuss this together and he has continually shown me no respect for my opinions? Does he realise that it was difficult for me to integrate into life in France? Does he realise that it was difficult for his mum who speaks fluent french...
Read more

Today I head back to France...

Image
  So I'm at St Pancras station....just putting my bags through security and one of my bags are stopped by the scanners. Supervisor is called over. Points to the flammable sign and says sorry we can't allow this. Then more kerfuffle as I try and rescue a pen and caps...and as I'm trying to rescue bits and pieces another supervisor comes over, has a look and says, it's fine, let her through (although the original supervisor says its just because the other guys is too nice and if I were a guy it would be a different story. Anyway, he goes off to get me some tape to seal my package back up and casually asks if I'm heading to Paris. I say no. And blurt out a mini version of my recent life story....at which his response boils down to: yeah France is racist. And okay UK is racist, but it's not in your face racsim that you get in France. Obviously, I'm crying again... He ends with. Good luck and it will be okay in the end... Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Update...
Read more